The Longest Blogging Hiatus in the History of this Blog

If anyone is still listening, wow. I can't believe I have neglected this blog for so long. I have been so consistent for so long, even if once a month . . . I don't even know where to begin in updating. I meant to post Charlie's 1 year post right after the last one about Ruby, but that just didn't happen. And now he's 16.5 months old! I will give a brief update on each of the kids and go from there:

Norah:

• still as determined as ever. This girl has a mind of her very own, and when she decides something, it has to happen. She is my biggest struggle as a mom and my greatest blessing. For every moment that I want to throw my hands in the air, she does something super helpful or sweet or insightful and I will just never understand her little mind! She will go places, this one.
• is always on the go. This girl loves to run and play outside allllll the time. Winter is her favorite season and she can't wait for all the snow (let's hope we get some).
• is becoming really helpful around the house -- she can do the laundry now (separate lights from darks, start the washer, add soap, etc. switch loads, turn on the dryer, etc.). This in and of itself is amazing - it's made my life a lot easier, combined with the fact that we majorly dejunked and don't have half the clothes in this house that we used to = less laundry! She also takes the garbage out, is getting better at cleaning bathrooms, can wash windows, vacuum, sweep, mop, is learning to cook some simple things, etc. It's GREAT.
• loves her baby brother. Charlie is everyone's favorite, but Norah particularly loves that little man. She often says that she wishes she was an only child . . . but with Charlie, of course. She gets him out of bed and can feed him, and thinks she is his little mom. 
• has a built in best friend/enemy - Scarlett. Those two are best buds and play so well together most of the time, but when they fight . . . ugh. Scarlett is a screamer. It's great. . . 
• loves to read. As hard as it was for me not to push reading with Norah (REALLY HARD), I am forever thankful that I didn't. It has really paid off. When she decided to learn, it just hit her and she took off. It was really cool to watch. And now she is always reading, and reading to her little sisters all the time. I LOVE seeing her read and loving it so much. 
• loves old people and history/stories about the past. If you have spent any time with Norah, she has probably asked you to, "Tell me a story of when you were younger." It's constant. She's obsessed. And her memory is impeccable. She remembers every story you tell her, and repeats them to others. Whenever we are in the car together she asks me for more. She goes on walks with her grandma Julie a lot in the mornings and pesters her over and over for more stories! 
• is a perfectionist. She has an image in her head of how things are supposed to be (especially drawing/making crafts) and when they don't turn out that way, she is TICKED. She is very particular. 
• is starting to "get" things, like jokes and things the other kids do that are funny. It's cool to start to build that relationship with her, and to talk to her more about things that are important to her and goals she has. We bond a lot over reading good books and I'm so grateful for that. Now that we can read things that the younger girls aren't as interested in, it's kind of our thing and I think she likes that. 

Scarlett:

• is very sensitive. She cries a lot, needs to cuddle and be held a lot, and is very acutely aware of others' feelings. She is also super sweet and caring and wants everyone to be happy. This is both good and bad. She always wants to do what I want her to, and always wants to make me happy, but sometimes at her own expense. She would wear whatever I told her to, but I am trying to be more aware of that and help her find out what SHE really wants, and to assert her opinion. 
• loves babies. She is drawn to them in a way I will never understand - she got that from her daddy for sure! She tries to "help" with Charlie a little bit too much -- always trying to carry him around and he doesn't appreciate it. She is a little (a lot) unsteady on her feet! 
• is super clumsy. She falls all the time. Which lends to a lot of crying.
• is so easy to please and is so happy. She brings light and joy into a lot of situations and knows just when you need a hug. She gets excited over the smallest things - it makes me stop and enjoy things more to see her amazement and joy.
• is smart. She learns quickly and has a mind for numbers. I think she gets that from her grandpa Jensen and her momma. She wants to learn to read right now and begs me to teach her all the time. Her and Norah learn very differently. Scarlett is more of a sit down and do the work girl, Norah needs a lot of breaks and change of subjects to keep her interested. It's been fun for me to see these differences in them as they get older.
• always wants to be held. Sometimes she just NEEDS a cuddle. 
• loves to have little "treasures." She will fill a bag or any little container with trinkets (super random all the time) and keeps them on her bed. Her bed is constantly full of STUFF. Toys, books, clothes, etc. I hate to admit that I was the same way as a child - I got scared a lot at night and it was comforting to have all of my stuff surrounding me. 
• plays so well on her own. She can make up and stick with a game all day if Norah isn't around. All on her own. Her and Hazel are starting to play together more too, which is fun. I think Scar is enjoying finally being the "one in charge" in the games and Hazel is super happy to comply! Scarlett's play is always dramatic - people falling/drowning/dying/needing rescue, etc. I just chuckle listening to her. 
• is my picky eater, but I hate saying that, because she isn't really that picky compared to the world's standards. She just doesn't eat what the other girls will - and only eats ham/bacon/sausage/deli turkey for her meat. She loves potatoes- sweet and white, which is nice. And she eats scrambled eggs, but that's the only way she will eat eggs. Loves fruit, carrots, pickles, oatmeal, bread, apple sauce, nevermind, she eats lots of things! haha. I have never subscribed to the making multiple meals for kids who won't eat. I make it, and they eat it or they are hungry. I think this has really helped my kids to try things and eat when it's available. I don't short-order cook. I make the meal, and I always try and include at least one thing I know they will each eat, whether the meat, or veggie, or cutting up an apple to go with it, etc. Sometimes Scar only eats apples. 

Hazel:

• is probably spoiled. I blame it on her beauty. That girl gets what she wants. Those huge doe eyes are powerful! But she is super sweet too. She is like Scarlett in that she is aware of how other people feel, and wants you to be happy and not sad. She asks a lot, "You k?" And she loves to snuggle and give lots of hugs as well.
• loves to play with Charlie/torment him. They are the cutest together. As hard as those first several months were having them so close in age, it was worth it to see them now. They are little buddies and I love seeing her boss him around. Just wait until he gets bigger!
• is funny. She has spunk and personality and says the funniest things. Jake and I are constantly looking at each other like, "Did she really just say that?" The girls also laugh at her and think she's hilarious.  
• loves to eat now that I've gotten her off of milk. She went through a milk addiction where all she wanted was to drink milk all day. I hated it. I don't like milk from the store and don't have ready access to raw, so it was killing me to see her drink all of that! I finally just went cold turkey and stopped buying it last spring. It was miraculous. She was mad the first couple of days, but then got over it, drinks lots of water, and eats EVERYTHING. She was shoveling food in like she'd never seen it before! The poor girl was so full of milk all the time she wasn't eating much. Now she scarfs down potatoes, kale, cabbage, brussel sprouts, all types of meat, you name it. She is so funny to watch too - she makes a "mmmmm mmmm" sound the entire time she's eating. She thoroughly enjoys her food! 
• is transitioning to no naps. She still could use one, but I like her going to bed early so I have been holding off since we just got home from Canada and she didn't nap much up there. If we are in the car she will nap in the afternoon, but at home she doesn't. 
• went into a big girl bed in the summer and it's been . . . interesting. She was fine at first, and then realized she could get out and started coming in our room in the middle of the night. For months. I was exhausted with the little stinker. And she would go right back to sleep, she just wanted me there - right by her face. I am a very light sleeper and can't sleep touching other people/kids. So I didn't sleep much. Then before we went to Canada she stopped and it was great. Now since being home the last few days she is back at it . . . joy. Hopefully she outgrows that one asap. 
• hates going into nursery, but loves it once I leave her screaming! She is all joy and smiles when I pick her up! We'll see how sunbeams goes - she barely makes the cut with her birthday Dec. 29! Her and Char will be in nursery together for a month before she moves out.

Charlie:

•  is the best. Everyone loves the baby the most. You can't help it. I thank Heavenly Father every day for blessing me with this tiny boy. I have a feeling he'll give me a run for my money one day . . . but today is not that day. He is so little and soft and sweet. Such a great baby.
• loves to snuggle. When I put him down for a nap or for bed I wrap a blanket around him and he instantly snuggles into my shoulder. I rock him for a few minutes and soak up his baby-ness. Sometimes I get a little emotional, but I can't help it. I love that he still wants to cuddle.
• runs around like crazy chasing all these girls who steal his toys. He is always running somewhere or climbing on the couch/chairs/table, etc. 
• is more boy than I could have imagined. Before having him, I had no concept of the reality of how boys and girls truly do come wired differently. No one can ever tell me that they are the same - they most definitely ARE NOT. We didn't have any "boy toys" really so for his birthday I got him a few thomas trains. He ALWAYS has one in his hand. And he drives them around constantly along with the little cars he's accumulated. It's crazy to me how innate that was in him, to pick up the cars and trains and make a driving noise while driving them around alllllll day long. Seriously all day. It's crazy. He is pushing something around making a "brrrrrrr" sound all day. 
• loves mindy gledhill (the singer). Since he was a tiny baby, whenever I turn her album on it calms him. He used to be really fussy in the car all the time, but when I would put it on for him he would quiet and fall asleep. She's magical. 
• is still little and it's great. Wears 12-18 month clothes but only recently. He still wears some 12 month stuff. He is skinny. 
• is my blondest baby. I get a lot of looks in the grocery store, especially when I have all my kids with me. Lots of "look at all those little blondes!" ha. But I get it a lot with Charlie when I'm walking around holding him. I'm used to it, but other people see our white blonde hair and LOOK. It's funny. Jake always asks if I am used to people gawking at me yet. I hardly notice it anymore until he points it out. But with Charlie around I have noticed it more.
• loves food. But not when he's teething. He has 6 teeth and is cutting his molars right now. It's terrible. Poor little buddy. He loves meat.
• doesn't really have "words" yet, but says, "BAH" (bye), "uh-ah" (uh-oh), "mama" aaaaand that's about it. 
• loves phones. He walks around talking to people a lot, then says, "Bah." and it's over. Conversation ended. I laugh every single time. 

We had a busy summer and a wonderful recent trip to Canada. Hopefully I can get that all updated soon. For now, those are my babies as of November, 2015. 

we got a puppy and mother's day

 

I haven't posted in quite some time. A lot has happened! First of all, we got a puppy on May 2. Two of Jake's hunting buddies bred their dogs and we decided it was time. I have never been an animal person but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I wanted a dog. Besides the fact that Jake wanted a hunting dog, we both felt that having a dog would be great for the girls. It could go with them exploring and be their buddy while they are playing. Living where we do, there are wild animals and things and it would make me feel better as they get older if they had a dog with them all the time. When Jake is ever gone in the Fall or Winter it would make me feel better too, because I frequently have visitors and hunters showing up at my door. 

SO. We got a puppy. We named her Ruby. The girls were in heaven. Jake and I learned a lot, and quickly. We were pretty clueless, but read tons and did our best. She was a great little puppy. We fed her a raw food diet, and she did really well on it. We only gave her raw meaty bones and meat. She got chicken thighs, elk steaks, chicken carcasses, chicken feet and heads, and some organ meat. She loved it and it was pretty cool to see her eat. Raw food diets are supposed to help with over all health in cats and dogs, but also diminish "doggy breath," dog smell, shedding, dental problems, tear stains, and it helps their coat stay soft and shiny. It is also supposed to help with their demeanor.  Like I said, she did awesome. We didn't have anything to compare her to, but she seemed great to us - and she really didn't stink like a dog! She didn't shed, either. Ruby learned pretty quickly not to nip at the girls, and after knocking Hazel down from jumping up on her a few times, we really tried to squash the jumping and she was doing great. It was a lot of work - like everyone says. But the good thing is that puppies grow out of the newborn phase a lot faster than humans! ha. 

The girls loved going outside every morning to see Ruby. Norah especially latched onto her. Scarlett loved taking her for walks. Hazel loved calling for her and it was the cutest to hear her say, "Ruby, come Ruby!" 

This is all in the past tense. Early last Sunday morning Jake accidentally hit Ruby backing up. It was awful and I just don't really want to talk about it. He let me know and we decided not to tell the girls before Church. Then after church I wanted to wait for Jake because I would be a complete mess telling them, and I didn't want to make it worse. We were having company over for dinner and Jake didn't end up getting home until right before they showed up, so we put it off. Norah was looking for Ruby all day. She had gone out first thing in the morning calling for her and wondered where she was. Then after church she went looking for her and it broke my heart to pieces. Hazel was out there calling for her too. It was terrible. During dinner Norah said, "Mom, I just don't know where Ruby is. I am getting worried." GAH. 

Before bed we sat the girls down and Jake told them what happened. Whoosh. Scarlett wept and wept herself to sleep, she was devastated. Norah was stoic. She tried to hold it in like I thought she might, but I held her and she did cry. She was heartbroken; we all were. It was just horrible having to tell them something like that and see their tiny hearts so sad. I cried a lot. I gave myself a headache from it. I grew so attached to Ruby - shocking myself in the process. It helped that she really liked me a lot. She would always come running for me and was just so excited and lovable. I didn't think I would get that close to her - I thought it would be "our" dog, but really it would be Jake's and the kids'. But I loved her and darn it, I took good care of her! I waded through buckets of chicken parts to separate them into meals for her - THAT is love. 

The girls still miss her but are easily distracted with playing. On Monday when I went outside it was sad not to have her there waiting for me. And my heart ached a little each time Hazel went out and called for her, because she obviously doesn't understand. It was a good month and a great experience for us. We will not replace her right away. We got her during a specific time, and now things are getting way too busy to try again right now. But one day, we will get another puppy. 

  

On another note, we spent the day in Logan at Cindy's house on Mother's day and it was fabulous. We took Ruby and we all played outside and ate wonderful food and it was just perfect. I have complained a lot about Mother's day in the past, but this one was really good. I sure love the four babies that are mine.

 

Scarlett's Dental Surgery

Back in November I took the girls to the dentist for a checkup.  We had been to that same dentist a couple of times before. At their previous check up in May, everything was great. No cavities for Scarlett. Then suddenly, over 6 months, she had TONS of cavities. The dentist took one glance at her x-rays and said, "She needs ten crowns. All her molars, and her front two teeth . . ." Then continued to tell me how we would just take her to the hospital, put her to sleep, and it would be over. "Trust me." He said. Truly, he said that. As I filled out the paper work I felt kind of weird. Then by the time I got home I felt really off about it. It just didn't sit right with me.  AT ALL. It made me wonder what they had overlooked the last time, to have that much happen in such a short time. My girls don't even drink juice, she never took a bottle or sippy cup to bed, nothing. All of the things they ask when there is such decay . . . nothing. She does have really tight teeth, and I guess that's why. Poor girl.

That night I asked my cousin her opinion (she's worked as a dental assistant for 8 years). She was immediately shocked and couldn't believe he prescribed TEN crowns. She had never heard of such a thing, unless it was severe neglect. That confirmed my suspicions. I asked around and tried to find another dentist to take her to and get a second opinion. Another cousin asked on her ward's facebook page if there were any recommendations for pediatric dentists in Pocatello or Idaho Falls. She got back to me and said that one of the girls responded and said her dad is the head of the Idaho Dental Board and so she called him. He said he, "Unfortunately couldn't, in good conscience, recommend any of the pediatric dentists in Pocatello." Yikes. That's terrible! He did recommend someone in Idaho Falls, so that's where I made an appointment. In the meantime, I had an appointment with my dentist in Logan and I took Scarlett and told him what happened. I just wanted him to look and see what he thought, so he looked at the x-rays and her mouth and told me that I was severely over-prescribed. He said the x-rays were so poor that he wouldn't even feel comfortable diagnosing anything from them to start with!

We took the girls both to the new dentist in Idaho Falls, Dr. Gregg Baker. He was phenomenal. He took Jake and I into a little room with the x-rays and explained everything he saw, and what he recommended. He even said he likes to sit and study the x-rays sometimes before making a final decision. I loved him. We decided that given Scarlett's personality and the fact that she did have cavities (large and small) in between all her molars and front teeth, putting her to sleep and doing it all at once would be the best option. That way, she would wake up and it would all be done and she wouldn't have dental anxiety for the rest of her life! I have always struggled with the dentist because of a traumatic childhood experience, so I felt better about this option. Dr. Baker said she would probably need 4 crowns, maybe 5.

The surgery was supposed to be the end of January (he only does the surgeries every 3rd Thursday of the month). But we were sick, so we pushed it back a month. In the meantime, I went to work researching how to heal tooth decay and found some pretty neat stuff. I limited her grains and dairy, and ordered a fermented cod liver oil/butter oil blend and the girls took it every day. We weren't perfect, but we made a conscious effort. February came and Scarlett got a fever Sunday night before her surgery! After battling what to do, I ended up on the phone with the anesthesiologist and we decided to wait once again. We set a date the end of March. She was in good health and ready this time. She wasn't nervous at all, because she had no clue what was going on. Her teeth REALLY started hurting that last week. They woke her up at night and she cried and cried. I put clove oil and lavender on her jaw line constantly and it helped her be able to eat and rest. It was so sad. We were just counting down the days, trying to make it to Thursday!

On Wednesday we drove up to Idaho Falls with all the kids and stayed in a hotel. It was really fun for them, and we had a good time. Scar had to be at the hospital at 7:45 a.m. We decided I would take her, and Jake would stay at the hotel with the other three kids. They told us the surgery would take about 2-21/2 hrs, and so we thought we would be done by 11. HA. We forgot about hospitals. I took her, we filled out the paper work, got her dressed, and waited. A girl came with a doll and a bunch of things to show us some things that happen in the hospital. Scarlett didn't care. Then the anesthesiologist came to talk to us. They gave her some medicine that would make her drowsy so the "separation" wouldn't be as bad for her. They finally wheeled her into the pre-op area and Dr. Baker was there. They took her and led me to a waiting room. And i waited. By this time, it was 9:30 and they were just starting. 

 

I read my book (It Starts With Food), had some herbal tea, ate some fruit . . . and waited. It was actually kind of nice (don't tell Jake). She was finally done around 11:30 and Dr. Baker came to tell me she only needed 2 crowns (HA - I totally think what we did helped to battle some of that decay, and I'm allowed to think what I want about it). He was pleasantly surprised! It hadn't gotten worse, but better! YES. Anyway. She went into recovery and I went down. I chatted with the nurse while we waited for Scar to sleep it off as much as possible. She finally started to come to and HATED the IV in her arm. She kept trying to take it off and started crying like crazy. I got into the bed with her and held her and she just cried and cried. Poor baby. They wheeled us together to a recovery room and said she had to drink something before they could take the IV out. We tried a popsicle, juice, pudding, etc. She didn't want much at first, but then finally drank the juice. We turned on Sofia the First and that helped distract her a little. They finally took the IV out and I got her to eat her popsicle and some sherbert. It took forever to get discharged and I was dying. Jake was at the hotel just going crazy with Charlie, Hazel, and Norah. Bored out of their minds, tired, etc. He ended up being there for 6 hours with them - YIKES. Good thing I packed lots of snacks! It was a terribly long day, but it was over. We got packed up and drove home and put everyone to bed!!! 

I am glad it's over. Scar did great, and by the time we got home she was acting like nothing had happened. Now her teeth don't hurt, and she's happy with her "silver" teeth. Whew.

Our First Homeschool Conference

*** WARNING: super long and no pictures of cute kids.

This happened over a month ago - wow. After Christmas, I was feeling blah about home school. We weren't really doing much, and hadn't been since going to Canada in November. I felt like I needed some inspiration, so I started looking up home school conferences in Utah and found that there was one the end of January. I asked Jake what he thought, and he was all for it. So I purchased tickets, got a hotel, and waited. We had a lot going on that month in the house - we are in the middle of de-cluttering and moving things around. I didn't have much time to think about school, and then it was time for the conference! Jake's parents watched the girls and we took Charlie with us down to Layton.

We went to dinner at a Brazilian BBQ place we've been wanting to try in Salt Lake, then went back to the hotel and relaxed Friday night. Early the next morning we got ready and headed to Ogden. The conference was at Weber State and as we drove up, I got really nervous. I was looking around at all of the people getting out of their cars, and immediately got scared that Jake was going to hate me for dragging him to this! ha. We got out and made a few little jokes about it, but trudged along to registration. Here is where I am completely honest - it was crazy. Jake and I both kept looking around and thinking, "These people are SO weird. What have we done?" Seriously, it was like all of the weird home school families that everyone thinks of came out of the woodwork to congregate here. I was nervous - I just wanted so badly to find some inspiration and knowledge here, and I couldn't see anyone "normal" hahaha. That sounds awful, and I acknowledge that, but it's true. They also have classes for teens all day, and that was probably the part that worried me the most - seeing all of these awkward, and some really weird, teenagers milling about. I just thought, "Please don't let my kids be like that!" So. We had a long time to stand in line and form all of these thoughts and were pretty skeptical going into the keynote address.

The keynote speakers were Oliver and Rachel DeMille, who are the brains behind A Thomas Jefferson Education. Jake and I have known about them for years because Heather had Jake read the book, and Jake learned more about it getting his education degree. It's basically leadership education - aiming for greatness, reading classics, and mentoring your children in order to develop in them a life long love of learning and studying - because they love it, not because they are forced to. They were awesome, and my fears were immediately gone.

I am going to try and summarize my notes here for those interested:

They talked about the 5 Habits of Healthy Homeschoolers:

1. Aim for Greatness 
God don't make no junk. There is genius inside of every person. Look your kids in the eye and let them know there is greatness within them, and you are going to help them find it. This requires thought and work and a plan. Education - is the way that child finds their greatness. Sooner isn't always better (one of my main beliefs about schooling) - studies show over and over again that pushing children too quickly to read has adverse effects. Sure, it works for a classroom and makes things "easier" for the teacher, but children who learn to read later read more throughout their life and comprehend more. So if we aren't teaching them to read and write, what do we do with 5-6 year olds?!? GET THEM EXCITED ABOUT LEARNING! Show them how to do math by doing math, read to them, get lost in stories, find their interests and learn more about them, go to the library, museums, parks, etc.

2. Brainstorming a blank page 
Each week, take out a blank sheet of paper for each child/family member (spouses included). On that page, write down things that that individual needs from you that week. For example: Norah - What does Norah need from ME this week? Then write it all down. It could be extra reading time, it could be cuddle time, it could be help with her writing, it could be finding ways to get her more involved, etc. Anything she needs from ME, write it down. Then pick a couple of things, and write down how you are going to do them. This isn't a TO DO list, it's a list for them, things they need (emotionally, spiritually, physically, etc) from you. You are the expert in your home. *** I just have to say, this one idea was worth going to this conference for me. It is genius and Jake and I have been doing it each week on Sunday evening for each child and each other. It's amazing how when you take the time to sit down and think about that child and what they need from you and write it down with a goal to help in a specific area, how you keep thinking about it all week long. It's kept us both more focused and more attentive to our children I think. It has honestly been so good for us, and for our kids. Then each week we re-evaluate how we did, how they responded, etc. It's been amazing. What a fabulous idea!!! Such a simple way to connect with your spouse as you come together and think about your children and what they need. I love it.

3. Read aloud
Self-explanatory. But they talked about reading GOOD books, the classics. They have age-appropriate books lists on their website and it's given me some great ideas. I thought I knew most of the books I wanted my girls to read, but I was reminded of a lot that we haven't read yet. Ever since the conference I have been more focused on reading good books to the girls and Norah especially cherishes that time together.

4. Discuss
Don't just read to them, but discuss things with your children. Discuss, discuss, discuss. Over meals, during car rides (which we have plenty of), after church, on a walk, during play, while you are reading stop and talk about what you read, etc. Teach them how to think.

5. Take a break
Basically, you will get burned out. It happens to everyone. So they stress taking time with your spouse and taking those breaks. Re-set and re-think what your goals are for your family and your home school. What do you want to accomplish? What values are important to you? Stop and do nothing at all for a while if you need to. TAKE BREAKS.

 Each of these steps kind of go in order of how important the DeMille's stress that they are. So if you do nothing else, aim for greatness and try to find that in your children. Then add on the brainstorming, then reading, etc. Truly truly, I can't even express how much I love that brainstorm idea and as they were talking about it and giving examples of their own children, I knew it was something we were going to do. The next day (Sunday) we started.

After the keynote address there were different classes to choose from. There were too many I wanted to go to. Jake and I thought of splitting up for some, but having Charlie there and this being the first time, we stuck together. I'm glad we did. Jake took Charlie while I wrote notes or vice versa. I nursed him while listening to speakers (heck, I was at a home school conference - might as well join in)! Charlie was AMAZING all day. So happy and easy going. He even napped a couple of times, and was just wonderful. I love that kid.

The next class we went to was about MATH - the Discovery Method. It was pretty much awesome. Norah started out the year loving math then decided she hated it. She does that often. So I haven't been pushing it at all until I could decide how to go about it. I felt weird pushing it on her. This discovery method was such a light bulb moment for me. And Jake learned all about it in his educational psych classes and others - it just makes sense. The entire idea is about teaching children to THINK mathematically, instead of just teaching them formulas and facts that they spit out for tests and never remember again. Math is so much more than just numbers. It's about logic and thinking through things and discovering new ways to do things. The discovery method is basically very similar to the scientific method. The presenter has a sister who came up with a curriculum for it - it's the first curriculum for this method ever created. It's all about playing math games with students to get them thinking and excited about it. Discovering things on their own. Anyway, Jake and I signed up to get the curriculum that they are BETA testing, and it comes with an online course teaching you how to teach math! I'm really excited about it. The course is happening right now, but I am going to catch up later when things aren't so crazy!

After that we went to a class by Dr. Shanon Brooks - V.P.S. Jet Fuel for Homeschooling. He was fabulous. Dynamic, excellent, and we both loved him and what he had to say. He spoke about PASSION. Finding your child's passion (and your own, for that matter). He gave tons of great stories and examples and I laughed and cried during his presentation - it hit home to me, big time. I've always kind of been in the "let the child find what they love and encourage that" camp. But I felt like I HAD to do all the other "stuff" too. So his "vps" stands for Virtue - best place to learn that is in the home. Passion - be passionate and find your child's passion and encourage it. Skills - HARD work, learned in the home. If you want your child to do something, do it yourself. Provide as much support as possible for your children. Never say, "You can't do that."  He was super great and talked about how we use our time and how if we had passion for something, we wouldn't all be so lazy . . . ha. Or on our phones all the time, because we would be doing our "passion" above all else. He said he hasn't had tv or the internet in his home for 20 years. Crazy. We don't have tv, but the INTERNET???? Jake had to go talk to him after about that comment.

After we grabbed lunch at in-n-out and talked about everything we had heard, we headed back for the afternoon session. The first class was about organization and it was good. The lady teaching it has 6 children and was huge pregnant with her 7th. She and her husband took their whole family and drove around and lived in an rv for 9 months - so she knows how to keep things organized and simplified. It was good and I got some great tips from her. I have revolutionized the way I do my laundry because of it, and it's been amazing.

I was so tired by this point, I was struggling to hold my brain together! We decided to walk around for a bit and check out all of the vendors. We walked and Char slept while I carried him, and then we went into the last half of a class about passion led education. More about passion! The speaker wasn't super exciting, but he had some great information and resources. I have a book list a mile long I need to read. . . great. He talked about identifying your child's passions and then offering educational resources and experiences based around them. Letting your children go and learn, even when it seems a little unproductive. They are learning. Even while playing, they are learning.

After that class I was sitting down for the last one of the day waiting for Jake. Then I decided I was just too tired to hear anything else. My brain was hurting. We still had to get groceries and get back to the girls and so we decided to skip out on the last hour of the day. I was wiped!!! BUT in a good way. There was so much good information, and I felt inspired and taught and more aware of the direction we should go. And in their defense, I did end up seeing some "normal" people after all. We were in the minority though. I said to Jake later, it was like going to a network marketing meeting - half the audience was NEW. It's the same thing - people get excited about a new business and sign up and pump themselves up that they are going to DO THIS. Then it fades . . . and it's harder than they think; the money doesn't fall from the sky, etc. The same is true for homeschooling - it gets people excited and they want to teach their children values and work and subjects they would never learn in school, so they attend conventions and classes and get pumped up . . . then realize it's a lot more work and harder than they thought. So some end up sending their kids back to school, or others just do the basics and get by.

Choosing to home school our children has been one of the most challenging and terrifying decisions I've ever made. It's hard. I'm not going to sugar-coat it - we haven't even really DONE anything yet, and it's already hard. My greatest challenge is and probably always will be worrying about what other people think I am doing or "not doing" with my kids and their education. It's not something you can sum up in a 5 minute conversation with someone to try and tell them your "vision" for your family. It's hard to realize that some people will always think of home schoolers as weirdos and don't get the complete other side of things that I've been privileged to learn about (and they don't care to learn about it, which is fine).

When we were driving home from this conference I got pretty emotional (as I am now, typing this). I want SO BADLY to achieve certain goals with my children and as a family. Jake and I want a certain lifestyle where we can take our kids and go if we want to, where we dictate our own schedules and decide what we learn about. We want our children to learn in the home, from us, not from someone else. We aren't trying to isolate them from the evils of the world - we want them to be involved - but we don't want the best hours of their day wasted sitting at a desk in a classroom. (Not to say kids in public school are wasting time, it's just our feeling for our kids - capiche?) Here is where the emotion comes in: I am terrified. Maybe I'm not self-disciplined enough or strong enough or whatever enough to actually accomplish this with my kids, and then where will I be?!?!? Obviously those weird people we saw at the conference and their children weren't doing what I want to do (haha, right?). They weren't following these amazing speakers whose children are excelling and finding what they love and loving to learn. Why? Laziness? Lack of knowledge? Lack of ambition? I don't know. But it scares me.

I THINK I am strong enough and have the right tools and the drive to really go for it and give my children the education they deserve that will help them become life long learners and leaders. I think so. But there are always doubts. Then I wonder, "Do people even think this hard about this? Am I over analyzing education too much?" My answer to that is always, NO. This is probably the most important thing I will do for my children. To help them find what they love, to encourage their learning, and to watch them grow in more areas than they could ever possibly achieve in public school. I don't think kids are creative enough these days. I want my kids to create, and love doing it. No matter what it is, math, science, art, music, writing, etc. I want them to LOVE it. Not just do it because it's something they have to do to "get through." I am not saying they are going to be geniuses. But I want them to be encouraged to follow what they love (their passion).

Before, I was trying to re-create public school in my home. I don't know why, because that's not at all what I want for my kids. I don't want them to think that "school" or "learning something" is a set amount of hours every morning, then it's over. And I've already given Norah that impression. I want them to realize that we are ALWAYS learning, no matter what we're doing. And to find ways to incorporate learning into new things each day. I'm getting better at it, but it will take years I am sure to get into a rhythm with it.

I know this isn't something that will happen over night for us, and that is the hardest part for me. Knowing that, and then seeing this time in their lives where their peers are doing certain things or "know" certain things that they don't yet . . . that is when I have to take a deep breath and remind myself of our goals. It's more of a marathon, not a sprint. I am all too aware of other people watching to "see how it's going and what Norah 'knows." I dread people "quizzing" them to try and see if they are learning anything, because like I said, it's hard to explain in a few minutes how I am educating them or what I feel is important. Sure, Norah might not be fully reading yet, but she knows things that children her age have no clue about. She has "read" books that they won't read for years. She learns about art and science and cooking and sewing and things that interest HER right now. Not telling time or writing the alphabet. She hates writing. So it can wait. She isn't going to be illiterate, and I know that. But it's hard to not try and push it! Public school is all I really know, so it's hard to get out of that mind-set. It takes effort and time management and it's something I am committing my life to, basically!

While I worry about what people might think, I have to remember that my children and how we raise and teach them is the most important. I know it will come with time, I know that they won't be "dumb" or weird. How can they be weird by hanging out with us all day? ha! I know that with the Lord's help and inspiration we can find the best way to do this for our children. That doesn't mean I'm very patient about it - but I know it will come. And as truly hard as this is to stick with and focus on (because it takes TIME - I commit a lot of time to this, even if we don't "do school" every day - it would be much easier to send them on the bus and just nap or blog or do nothing all day if I wanted to), I know it will be worth it. Maybe one day they will thank me? Maybe not. But Jake and I know it's what is best for our family right now, so onward we go. We are blessed to have amazing family members who support and encourage our decision. It makes it a lot easier for me knowing I have people who will encourage me all along the way.


Now I wanted to share this most amazing TED talk that I could watch every single day. If you want to know more of how I feel, this sums it up. My favorite part is when he talks about the dancer at the end. I cried. Real tears. Give it a watch!!!